10 Comments
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Monica A Leyva's avatar

Miles, This is a really strong, memorable piece with a clear sense of control and atmosphere. The central idea sticks with you, and the execution shows a lot of confidence. It reads like something that would spark a lot of discussion and stay with readers after they finish. Happy Easter, Monica

Miles Carnegie's avatar

Thank you Monica, and Happy Easter. Sometimes that "control" is the whole thing. Really glad it stuck.

J. Michael Thomas's avatar

Wow. This is very well written. Intense. Suspenseful. Scary.

Gregory Blair's avatar

Oh, my god this is brutal! What a scary concept! Well done!

Miles Carnegie's avatar

Thank you. I'm glad this is landing with you all.

Ausiàs Tsel's avatar

The premise earns its horror: the body as betrayer, love as vector. The day-by-day structure works as countdown, and the domestic details—Leo throwing blocks, the IKEA table, the playpen shoved against the wall—anchor the dread in the ordinary. The final pivot to Leo lands because you've set it up without signposting. Clean, efficient, ruthless. Loved it.

Miles Carnegie's avatar

Thank you. 'Love as vector' is a phrase I’m going to be thinking about for a while. I really wanted the domestic stuff to feel like an anchor while everything else drifted away. Glad it landed for you. Ruthless is high praise.

Becky Hayward's avatar

Oh man. This one was brutal. Short and brutal. So good.

Miles Carnegie's avatar

Glad you enjoyed the gut punch.