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Monica A Leyva's avatar

Another excellent story miles. This was really good.

You let the tension build in a way that feels familiar first, which makes the shift hit harder. The arguing, the noise, the waiting voice… all of it just keeps stacking.

The voice at the speaker was especially unsettling. Calm, patient, like it already knows how this ends.

And the contrast between the two places worked really well. It gives the whole thing shape without spelling it out.

Alicia's avatar

This story is freaking brilliant, sir. I feel like you touched the jugular vein of America here. We should collaborate on some flash fiction about that - it's a subject close to my heart! 😉 Seriously though, this story is AMAZING. It needs way more attention.

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